I live just outside Southampton. I'm a lecturer in the business school at Chichester University and I have two sons, aged 18 and 20.  My husband and I have always enjoyed walking and have explored lots of places through walking. When the boys were young, we would take them walking as well.  I’ve been a member of the Ramblers for just over 2 years. 

 

A life-changing diagnosis 

About two and a half years ago, I started experiencing severe back pains and some loss of movement in my left leg.  And it was affecting the left side of my face too.  I had been to the doctor's several times because I wasn’t feeling right, and they sent me to various chiropractors.  But I just knew it was something different. I decided to seek advice via private healthcare, and it was the best £200 I've ever spent. They diagnosed that I had a massive tumor, called Petroclival Meningioma, and it was growing very fast.  

Only 2% of tumors are of this type, and they told me mine was sitting in quite a dangerous place, near important cranial nerves and on the brain stem. They gave me seven months to live.  I made it through a very intense operation, but they couldn't remove all of the tumour. Some of my nerves have been severed, so I can't see in my left eye, it affects my memory, and I get chronic fatigue. I still have regular checkups, and MRI scans for the part of the tumour that’s remaining, but for the time being, I've recovered, and I've got all my movement back.  

 

Recovering in nature 

After my operation, I was in bed for quite a few months, and I couldn't even stand up. When I started moving, I needed to use a walking frame. I managed to do a lap of our small garden, which was hard work. Gradually I worked up to several laps, and then I started venturing out further. When I started, I could only walk for about 10 minutes, still using the frame and then I gradually increased the time. To be honest, I was really embarrassed at using the frame so we would always go places where no one would see me. I was such an active person before, my eye was shut, and I just didn't look or feel like myself, and I didn't want to be seen.  

On my left side, since the operation, I have lots of metal inside my head and I get lots of noises. It’s like washing sounds and when I’m anxious or getting lots of external neurostimulation these sounds increase. I started to realise those noises decreased when I was walking outside in nature. As I became more mobile and didn’t need the frame anymore, I started thinking about getting back to walking. But I needed to be with someone as I couldn’t get out by myself. My husband, friends and neighbours were all busy or working so it was quite isolating. 

 

First steps with the Ramblers 

I remembered that a good family friend is a member of the Ramblers, so I looked it up and I hadn’t realised it was such a huge organization with groups all over the country, including several close to me. I rang a couple of groups, and explained that I was learning to walk again and asked if I would be able to join a group walk and whether there would be anyone who would be able to support me.  

I spoke to a lovely man at the Ramblers Hampshire 40+ Walking Group who explained that wasn’t the norm but he would be happy to walk with me. I went on that first walk, which I think was a five-mile walk, something I'd never done post-surgery. I think I managed about a mile. I was absolutely exhausted, but he was with me the whole time and then he rang my husband to come and pick me up. It was great but I decided not to go again until I was stronger because I didn’t want to be a burden. 

So I just went out walking in the woods, until I was able to walk for about four miles and I called him again to say I thought I was ready to walk longer distances. Those first walks with the Ramblers were very challenging. But the people were so nice. They were so encouraging. And although their speed was much faster than mine, they started adapting the routes so that I would find it easier. I was so touched by how caring they were.   

After my operation, I had to re-learn everything, from swallowing and moving my arms to walking. Going through this process I came to realise how much your environment impacts on your body and your wellbeing. I realised, when I was outdoors in the countryside, the noises in my head reduced.   

It felt very different from when I was by a road with cars going past or back at home with artificial lighting. I was going out walking with the Ramblers group twice a week and I noticed I was started feeling a bit better in myself. I realized that being out in nature with these lovely people was healing me. I was taking lots of medicines to suppress the pain in my head, but this was a different type of healing that was going on. I could feel it on a different level. I was starting to feel a little bit more ‘me’.   

After a while I joined Meon Ramblers who are absolutely amazing. They've been a lifeline to me. Our friendship and spending time outdoors has brought us all close together. And for me it’s been a healing process. I'm getting exercise; I'm getting friendship; and I'm getting lots of different stimulation. It’s so much more than ‘just a walk’. 

When I first started walking, I couldn't see in my left eye, and I had problems with my right eye, so I had no perception of depth.  I don’t see things in 3D; everything looks flat.  I can’t see steps for example unless they are visibly marked.  Although I was walking using 2 sticks, I would trip and fall a lot because of this.  But I’ve learnt coping mechanisms. I look for shapes and I watch the people walking in front of me. That allows me to tell if they're stepping down or if they're stepping over something that I can’t see. And if the ground is really flat I can tell because their pace changes, and the movement of their body changes.  

 

Long distance challenges 

Last year I walked the Isle of Wight 106km Ultramarathon right around the island. I have to thank Astrid, a volunteer who helped me on the last leg of the challenge. At that point I was feeling very ill and I couldn’t see properly but she got me through it. I was the last person to finish the challenge and I was about two hours over the time limit. But Astrid called the organisers, explained my situation and they waited for me and cheered me over the line. 

There are quite a few people who have helped me with my walking. There’s my husband Richard of course, whose support during my recovery has been crucial and who has also been pivotal in helping me with my walking. My friends Claire and Helen from Meon Ramblers helped me with the training for the Isle of Wight walk and this year they’re supporting me in doing the 100-mile South Downs Walk in stages across 3 days. Plus Astrid is going to join us for the final section of the walk. I also wouldn't be able to walk with the Ramblers, had it not been for another Richard, one of the walk leaders, who lives nearby and gives me lifts to and from the walks. 

In addition to the Ramblers, I’m very grateful to the other charities that have supported my recovery. The Brain Tumour Charity helped me with counseling and I’m hopeful that one day Brain Tumour Research’s work will mean the remainder of mine can be zapped for good.   

You can read more about Israr's brain tumour experience and find information about brain tumour signs and symptoms and how to get support if you or a loved one have been diagnosed with a brain tumour.

If you are recovering from an illness or an operation and would like to get out walking, check out Ramblers Wellbeing Walks. These are free, short walks designed to help you take the first step towards better health, wellbeing and happiness.